My Way: Let Haters Be Your Motivators

For my first article here on Lifestyle and Strength, I want to talk about something I’ve been seeing a lot lately. I read a lot of blogs and am very interested in other people’s pursuit of health and fitness, but unfortunately one common thing I keep seeing is people who are trying to make positive changes are being brought down by others. Not only just acquaintances, but often by their loved ones and the people who should be supporting them the most. So why does this happen?

Well it’s all only speculation, but I have a theory. I think people who don’t feel good about themselves are threatened by others making changes. They don’t like it when other people have more willpower than they do themselves, and can do the things that they struggle to do.

I don’t think most even realize it, but when they make these negative comments it can really throw people off of their game. Sometimes I even think they are trying to be nice, but are actually doing more harm than good. Comments like “Don’t lose any more weight, you are getting too skinny” when the person they are directing the comment at is still 50 pounds overweight. It’s a backhanded compliment, just like “Are you allowed to eat that?”, or “Come on you can have one doughnut, it won’t hurt!” Now, why would anyone want someone who is trying to be healthy to eat a doughnut or other unhealthy foods when they don’t want to? Is it jealousy?

It’s kind of like that person at your office who tries to get someone who is trying to quit smoking to go out for a smoke with them. Seriously? Why in the world would you try to get someone to smoke if they are trying to quit? It has to be to “feel better about themselves.” The thought process must be, “If I can get you to smoke with me I’ll feel better about myself when I smoke”. The same line of thought then would be, “If I can get you to eat that doughnut I’ll feel better about myself when I eat one”.

One thing I do know is you don’t hear these kinds of comments from people who make health and fitness a priority. Those of us who do can appreciate what others are going through. We tell them good job for making smart decisions instead of questioning why they don’t choose the alternative. We help steer them in the right direction and would never dream of pushing them towards anything unhealthy.

So if you are someone who is struggling with your weight and you hear these comments from others, just brush them off and be happy knowing that those who say these things only wish they could do as good of a job as you. Be proud that you are doing well enough that people are threatened by you. Start gravitating to the people who support you and take the rest with a grain of salt. Use the hating as a way to motivate you to push harder instead of letting it get you down. If those who make these comments understood and cared about health and fitness, they wouldn’t say these things. If you are someone who makes these comments to others, please understand what you are doing and give it a rest. People undertaking life changes need all the support they can get.

Happy Lifting!

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23 comments for “My Way: Let Haters Be Your Motivators

  1. May 21, 2013 at 1:16 pm

    “”Use the hating as a way to motivate you to push harder instead of letting it get you down. If those who make these comments understood and cared about health and fitness, they wouldn’t say these things”””

    I couldn’t put it better myself!! Great article – I will read more of yours as time permits!

  2. March 15, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    Where Is the Like button for this!? I agree! What I still fail to understand is why one health and fitness person brings down another when the one making the hateful comments is already ripped and shredded and generally doing really awesome! Baffled!

    • March 17, 2013 at 8:55 pm

      It sure can be confusing sometimes. All we can do is keep our chins up and be happy we have a reason to be hated on to begin with!

      • March 18, 2013 at 5:31 am

        Chin up! Lets go lets go lets go!!!!

  3. January 30, 2013 at 2:13 am

    This article is so true in not just fitness but everything that people pursue there will always be miserable people that need company. The people that are hating can also achieve the same success they just don’t want to try.

    • January 30, 2013 at 12:10 pm

      You are definitely right! I really wish people wouldn’t try to bring others down with them, it’s pretty sad. Thanks for the comment!

  4. December 2, 2012 at 11:25 pm

    Nice post, Colin, congrats on your new spot here! It’s awkward for people when you decide to change, especially if you used to eat out or drink a lot together. I have some friends who are now a bit distant since I’ve changed my habits. It feels pretty crappy, but in the end I have to remind myself why I’m doing this. I have to let go of those who aren’t supportive of me for me, regardless of what I’m doing or not doing at any point. That’s just family/friendship 101, and I can guarantee this won’t be the first time I shake things up in my life!

    • December 3, 2012 at 10:59 pm

      Thanks! Yeah you have the right attitude. It’s sad that it comes to that sometimes but you are absolutely right. I guess it’s best to find out who your true friends are anyway, right?

  5. December 1, 2012 at 5:40 am

    You nailed it Colin! This is something I personally deal with n my journey to get healthier and stronger. It can derail a person pretty quick if they don’t expose the motives. Great article. Looking forward to many more in the future.

    • December 1, 2012 at 8:59 am

      Thanks Sheila! Glad you are able to figure it out and keep moving forward!

  6. Amy
    November 30, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    Great article and I completely agree!
    I am fortunate to have supporting friends and family. With the great addition of fellow bloggers, I am floating in positive feedback!
    But I do see the same things Colin mentions. But for each negative comment someone gives them – 25 people say positive things. Maybe the negative person should do a couple wall sits and think about what they said. 🙂

    • November 30, 2012 at 8:08 pm

      LOL Maybe! Yeah, unfortunately the 1 person seems to be the loudest. It’s up to the individual to tune that out and tune in the positive stuff. Easier said than done for many.

  7. Anonymous
    November 30, 2012 at 11:29 am

    I agree with everything you are saying. I also think we have to be “selfish” when it comes to weight loss. Many times we don’t want to seem rude to those intentionally or unintentionally trying to “sabotage” our efforts. However, this is about you. And until weight loss becomes all about you for you, it won’t be successful. Just a thought……….

    • November 30, 2012 at 8:13 pm

      Agreed. In fact what’s often perceived as selfish with this game really isn’t selfish. Like getting control of your life and getting healthy so you can live longer and have more energy for your family. I don’t see anything selfish about that! That is a difficult thing for many though, putting their own priorities ahead of others. A balance is good, but you have to take care of yourself to be able to take care of others.

  8. November 30, 2012 at 9:37 am

    Have you seen the show “Extreme Makeover Weightloss Edition”? You see a lot of how family/friends can help or hurt a fitness routine. It’s pretty striking. Some family members will support the new diet by cooking the right foods and support the exercise by exercising with the person. While other families bring unhealthy food into the home, and complain that the person who wants to lose weight exercises too much.

    • November 30, 2012 at 8:06 pm

      I’ve caught bits and pieces, but know exactly what you are saying. A good support system is very important. Not that it can’t be done on it’s own but it’s much easier and more enjoyable if those around you are on board!

  9. November 30, 2012 at 9:35 am

    Welcome to the Team Colin! I look forward to many more articles from your point of view.

  10. Melissa
    November 30, 2012 at 7:39 am

    Great article! I believe what you are saying Is true. Some faults you just can not change, however, you can change yourself and people need to believe in just that, themselves; moreover what other have to say :)! Keep doing what you do we are listening.

    • November 30, 2012 at 8:03 pm

      Thanks so much! You are absolutely right. You can’t control others but you can control yourself!

  11. Brenda
    November 30, 2012 at 7:28 am

    Great perspective and timing this holiday season. I agree with you. I don’t think others intentionally want to hurt you but they don’t want to change how they do things. It’s about them and not you. Something to keep on mind when you encounter this scenario.

    • November 30, 2012 at 8:15 pm

      Absolutely! That’s a great line “It’s about them and not you.” That’s one I’ll try to remember when I encounter this with others who are struggling with it which seems to be often. Thanks!

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